Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
