Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize