i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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