Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram

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  (267): worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram http://tfl.nu/sbpo
  Replies (11) Good night (650) Bad night (2627)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

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  (919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/zj28
  Replies (25) Good night (3203) Bad night (1010)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth

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  (419): It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth http://tfl.nu/totm
  Replies (56) Good night (6893) Bad night (1468)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.

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  (216): Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was. http://tfl.nu/ift5
  Replies (16) Good night (6062) Bad night (1076)
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  (707): View more from California

  do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me

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  (707): do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me http://tfl.nu/4f25
  Replies (15) Good night (1913) Bad night (652)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

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  (360): He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn http://tfl.nu/981u
  Replies (6) Good night (2669) Bad night (547)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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  (305): The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies. http://tfl.nu/h31z
  Replies (9) Good night (2540) Bad night (731)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

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  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1386) Bad night (831)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested

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  (978): The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested http://tfl.nu/v6c6
  Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (580)
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  (530): View more from California

  Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

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  (530): Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life. http://tfl.nu/z2vn
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (641)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs

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  (480): i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs http://tfl.nu/4neu
  Replies (5) Good night (935) Bad night (339)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night

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  (702): we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night http://tfl.nu/elak
  Replies (7) Good night (1072) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy

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  (770): You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy http://tfl.nu/kuvz
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"

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  (517): We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!" http://tfl.nu/8tru
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (158)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom

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  (203): Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom http://tfl.nu/ba36
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (186)

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