Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  Do u kno any dealers?

  (1-424): View more from California

  I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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  (424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw
  Replies (36) Good night (2847) Bad night (7630)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (790) Bad night (4889)
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  (669): View more from California

  sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall

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  (669): sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall http://tfl.nu/w8x8
  Replies (24) Good night (1356) Bad night (4761)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter

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  (440): Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter http://tfl.nu/frpq
  Replies (8) Good night (2465) Bad night (1160)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

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  (502): Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication. http://tfl.nu/d8fz
  Replies (4) Good night (1957) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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  (707): He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie. http://tfl.nu/yx94
  Replies (6) Good night (2966) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"

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  (203): some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story" http://tfl.nu/0unr
  Replies (12) Good night (3029) Bad night (1315)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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  (763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2
  Replies (3) Good night (2121) Bad night (898)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack

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  (571): It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack http://tfl.nu/ebu7
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (1984)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.

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  (317): Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of. http://tfl.nu/wzwb
  Replies (4) Good night (1374) Bad night (509)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.

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  (870): I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office. http://tfl.nu/co4c
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

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  (404): I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/4d1q
  Replies (6) Good night (1281) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue

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  (720): I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue http://tfl.nu/01f7
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.

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  (817): Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult. (817): I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this. http://tfl.nu/zqxi
  Replies (5) Good night (562) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?

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  (816): so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet? http://tfl.nu/ne2f
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (299)

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