he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Intervention is following me on twitter.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED