Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.