don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
