If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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