I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.