Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

(1-214): View more from Texas

we're not divorced.

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(214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa

Replies (12) Good night (728) Bad night (3054)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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(770): If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day. http://tfl.nu/zol0

Replies (37) Good night (3903) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

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(630): According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for" http://tfl.nu/5bi3

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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(508): Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen. (781): I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night. (508): Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street. http://tfl.nu/mnwi

Replies (25) Good night (1090) Bad night (2402)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"

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(215): YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP" http://tfl.nu/srh9

Replies (12) Good night (757) Bad night (4358) Order T-Shirt
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

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(204): I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back. http://tfl.nu/sbtj

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(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

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(316): she thought the capital of kansas was topanga. http://tfl.nu/ge7r

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

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(715): i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead. http://tfl.nu/xiio

Replies (14) Good night (1952) Bad night (7444) Order T-Shirt
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(208): View more from Idaho

i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

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(208): i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home. http://tfl.nu/7itp

Replies (2) Good night (2056) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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(724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em

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(914): View more from New York

It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional

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(914): It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional http://tfl.nu/y54e

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.

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(+44): Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go. http://tfl.nu/hus5

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.

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(901): Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic. http://tfl.nu/8z3j

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...

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(507): I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs... http://tfl.nu/9q2b

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(906): View more from Michigan

2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

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(906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp

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