I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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