I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
