If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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