I just threw up on my dentist
No stitches, just platelets and will power
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
