help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just google imaged poop.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
