yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
