Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
