idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Mom said you looked used
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
