i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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