I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
