Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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