I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
