I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
