You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
