Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
