Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
