Do you still have your period?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
