Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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