I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize