yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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