one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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