Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize