Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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