let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
