what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
