Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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