Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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