so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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