So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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