apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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