Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pooping to opera.
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