i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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