And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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