i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize