i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
