And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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