that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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