DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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