direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
