hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
