He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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