Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
