I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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