I want to stick my p in your. b.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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