All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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