The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
