TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
