So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
