cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
