dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
