What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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