I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
