So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
