We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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