i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
