Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
