This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize