i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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